


You Changed With Just One Bite (Storytime for the Imminently Deceased)

by hummingbirdbandit



Series: Strilonde Theme Sprints [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Zombies, Fairy Tale Retellings, Fic Jam, Kissing, M/M, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 23:13:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14758107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hummingbirdbandit/pseuds/hummingbirdbandit
Summary: "I hope they get a better ending than us."





	You Changed With Just One Bite (Storytime for the Imminently Deceased)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LandOfMistAndSecrets](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LandOfMistAndSecrets/gifts).



> Written for the Strilonde Fan Jams Discord Server Theme Sprints, written in the Karkat Thirst Server. This theme sprint prompt was "apocalypse/fairy tales" and I did both in one. This was written significantly early, so I could turn it in on time - driving a few thousand miles makes it hard to upload. 
> 
> Check end of story notes for trigger warnings - this shit is heavy.

"Easy does it there, Dirk, time to rest that pretty head of yours."

A burbling cough passed Dirk's lips, mingling with the moaning and snarling coming from below.  It hadn't been easy toting him up to the loft, but luckily the doors had held long enough to manage.  Jake's guns laid empty beside him as he pressed a wet towel to Dirk's forehead.

"There, there, I've got you.  You're fine, it's just a scratch, you'll see.  Everything will be okay." It most certainly was not just a scratch, but Dirk was too delirious to know up from down, so it didn't matter much at this moment.  Keeping him calm was all that mattered. Keeping him calm, and keeping pressure on the pulsing, bleeding bite on his calf. Rose would pull through. Those Lalondes always were resourceful girls.  He glanced out the barn window into the distance, looking for the headlights that would mean success. All was dark.

Another fit of coughing pulled him from his window-gazing, and Jake looked down at the boy in his arms.  "J-jake, this is stu-" A cough. "Stupid. Get the fuck out of here."

"No, none of that, you silly dunderpuff, I've got you here, and I'm not going anywhere.  You need to get some rest, and I'll keep watch for the girls. You'll see."

Dirk gave him the closest thing to a disbelieving look he could manage before breaking down into another coughing fit.  His skin was lava and his eyes were bloodshot and constantly drifting, unable to stay focused for long. He didn't have much time, that much was clear.  A day at most. But Jake couldn't afford to think about that now, or what it meant that Rose hadn't returned. He had to keep Dirk distracted.

"I know, how about this.  I'll tell you a bedtime story.  I'll bet your guardian didn't tell you those, thought he was too cool for that.  Let's see..." He wracked his brain. "I know! Have you heard the story of Little Red?"

"Jake I w-was alone a lot, but every m-man with half a brain knows t-that one," Dirk gasped out, clutching Jake's hand tightly.  He hadn't let go since they had situated up here, on the rotten hay bales, and Jake wasn't about to complain.

"Yes, but not the way I tell it!  Give me just a moment to get my bearings, and I'll spin you the finest tale you've ever heard, Dirk.  Now let's see..."

Jake cleared his throat and began.  "Once upon a time, there was a young man with beautiful red eyes.  He was picked on and ostracized for most of his life, called names and even harmed due to those little rubies, and so he took to wearing glasses to hide them.  His feelings were packed behind a wall of fear, and he did everything in his power to keep others at arm's length, so that no one could learn about his supposed deformity.  Until one day-"

* * *

 

The wood was dark and foreboding this time of year.  Where the surrounding hillside was bright with fallen leaves, an ocean of color and scents, the wood was filled with evergreens - towering, unfriendly things that watched you as you passed.  No one was stupid enough to wander through alone - except Dave, apparently. He often got stuck with chores like this, things that no sane parent would ask of their kid. But he didn't have parents, he had a brother who hated him, and so here he was, with a backpack full of film reels he needed to deliver to some shady guy the next town over.  All he had to do was stick to the path. Piece of cake.

Dave shuddered as he moved into the shade of the tree line.  Some childish fear gripped him, and his mind leapt to the rumors he had heard growing up, about horned monsters that lived in the forest and made meals of passersby who stumbled into their territory.  It was absurd though - who ever heard of a monster in Texas? He was more worried about the coyotes, thank you very much. Still, he kept glancing over his shoulder until the trees swallowed the path and he was alone.

The path was surprisingly well-tended, for one so rarely used.  Dave thanked his lucky stars that he wasn't going to be tripping and stumbling over uneven ground the whole way, and slipped his hands into the pocket of his red hoodie.  Now that the initial fear of the unknown had passed, the forest was actually pretty nice. Birds fluttered in the trees as he passed, and the occasional bunny or deer poked its head from the brush to investigate as he wandered along, humming to himself.  This wasn't nearly as bad as he expected.

Suddenly, a noise rang out through the trees - someone crying out in pain.  Dave froze in place and placed his hand on his pocket knife. He hadn't expected to run into someone here, out in bumfuck nowhere.  The thought hadn't even occurred to him, and now he was facing the very real probability of getting mugged, shanked, and left for dead on the side of the path.  His mind reeled, already wondering how long it would take before his brother bothered to look for him, and another cry of pain reached him, this time punctuated with a string of profanity.  Whoever it was sounded like they needed help.

Dave let his knife slip into his hand just in case and stepped off the path against every instinct he had.  He wasn't about to leave someone struggling out here, no matter how weird it was that they were out here in the first place, where no one was supposed to go.  There were signs everywhere warning them against leaving the path. Whoever this person was, they were clearly stupid or illiterate.

It wasn't hard for him to track down the source of the noise.  The cursing grew louder upon approach, and Dave gasped at the sight.

The creature (it definitely wasn't human) was caught in a trap of some kind, and was tugging desperately at the knot to free itself.  It was humanoid in shape, but its skin was grey as slate, and claws adorned its fingers. It had its back to him, and from where Dave stood he could see a small pair of horns peeking out of a rat's nest of hair.

"Holy shit," Dave whispered, and the creature froze.

* * *

 

Dirk's head lolled against Jake's arm and he paused his story, true fear spiking through him.  The hand in his went limp. _Not yet, no, you have to hold on, she's coming!_ "You still with me there, Dirk?  I promise it gets more exciting from here, hahaha!" His voice was strained.

It took nearly ten seconds for Dirk to blink back to reality, gasping in a breath and coughing hard.  Jake rummaged in his bag, pulled out his canteen, and pressed it to Dirk's lips. Dirk took greedy gulps, and Jake didn't bother to worry how he would find more water, or how hard rationing was going to become.  Gratitude to whatever being was out there flooded him. Dirk was still ticking.

"I know I said I was trying to put you to sleep, Dirk, but it really is poor form to conk out park of the way through a man's tale, don't you think?"  Jake brushed Dirk's fever-damp hair back, staring down into his eyes and looking for recognition. They finally caught his, and he let out a breath when Dirk cracked a smile.

"You gotta... pick up the pace here, J-jake.  Where's the ro... romance? The sword fights? T-takin' some liberties w... with this dontcha think?"  Jake smiled back, trying to express years of affection and emotion in that one gesture.

"I think a gent is due some liberties when the world is ending, don't you, Dirk?"  Dirk tried to speak and just coughed. "Right, right. Okay. Where were we... yes!  The monster in the woods. Stay with me, Dirk, it's good." He spared a glance out the window - darkness.

* * *

 

Dave stood still as a deer, his fight or flight instincts failing miserably as the creature turned around to look at him.  Its face was hidden in the shadow of its hair, but he could clearly see sharp fangs poking out over black lips.

"What the fuck do you want?  Came to gawk? Oh, it's so funny, the clumsy asshole got stuck in a snare, let's all laugh at his screeching incompetence!" the creature snarled at him.  Its voice was strange, and it formed the words with strange clicks and chirrs, but it was clearly speaking English.

"What the fuck?" Dave echoed, taking a small step forward.  The creature shied back, tripping over the snare and landing on its ass in the brush.  Dave suppressed a laugh and tried to make himself as non-threatening as possible. "Look, I'm not gonna hurt you.  I've got a knife and if you hold still I'll just-"

At the mention of his knife, and creature yelped and ducked its head, tugging hard at the snare in apparent terror.   _Nice going, moron - best way to make friends is to let the guy know you're packing._ "Hey, chill, dude, alright? No knife, here."  He tossed the knife into the underbrush. "I'm gonna come closer and untie you, alright? Don't like... bite me, or whatever."

"Why the fuck would I bite you?  You think I want your disgusting human flesh in my protein chute?  That's vile and you should be ashamed of yourself for suggesting it."  But the creature stilled, extending his leg warily.

The cord had cut into his flesh, pulled too tight for comfort.  The setup of the snare was meant to snap the necks of small game, so it was a blessing that the power of it only knocked the creature over instead of breaking his ankle.  The knot was tight, and Dave thanked the one year of Boy Scouts he'd bothered to sit through as he tugged it loose, slipping the cord over the creatures foot and letting it fall to the ground.  He held up his hands and smiled, then quickly quit doing that in case it was a threat to show his teeth or something. "See? All good. You okay?"

The creature rubbed its ankle, muttering in a language Dave didn't understand and that made every hair on his body stand on end.  After a long moment, it looked up at him. "Yeah. Yeah, thanks." But Dave didn't hear his answer - he was too busy staring.

The monster's eyes were red.

* * *

 

Dirk let out a rattling noise that sounded suspiciously like laughter.  Jake's eyebrow cocked and he allowed himself a smile as he stared into Dirk's face.  "Hm, what's so funny, Dirk?"

"It's so... cliché, Jake," he laughed.  His lungs were filling with fluid - the noise was a red flag that Jake could do nothing about.  "The kid f-finds the red-eyed mon... monster, and learns he's a p-prince of monsters or something.  I c-can see right through your-" He cut off, coughing and wheezing into his arm. It came away red.

"Cliché it may be, but it's a fine tale, Dirk.  There's a witch, and a magic spell, and they even fall in love!  If you let me tell it-"

"No, Jake," Dirk wheezed.  He tried to push himself to sitting with shaking arms and collapsed back down, breathing hard through dying lungs.  Tears pricked behind Jake's eyes and he forced them down. "N-not comfortable. Wanna... lay... in your lap."

Jake nodded.  "Alright, I suppose that's peachy.  Come on then." He shuffled their things as carefully as possible, and pulled Dirk up onto him, his head pillowed on Jake's shoulder.  "Want me to finish the story?" Tears dripped onto his collar, and he laced their fingers together tightly. Dirk's hold was weak.

"T-tell me how it ends.  Do th... they get a happy ending?"

"Of course they do, Dirk.  A happy ending, just like you and me."

Dirk's voice was cold.  "I h-hope they get a better ending than us."  Jake swallowed, but didn't answer.

"Alright.  To the ending then.  The boys learn that Dave's brother is not his brother after all, but a sorcerer who has been draining his magical ability, making him mortal and human instead of strong and magic like the boy in the woods.  They finally face him down, in an epic battle where Dave saves his new friend - Karkat is his name - from death and slays his evil brother. They rest after the fight, finally able to speak freely-"

* * *

 

Dave panted, clutching his broken sword in his hand.  The blade clattered to the ground and he turned away from the pile of ashes that was once his brother.  He could deal with that can of worms later. There were bigger problems.

"Karkat!" he shouted, rushing across the room to where the troll lay, battered and bruised and bleeding onto the stones.  "Are you alright, please tell me you're okay!"

Karkat groaned and tried to sit up, but Dave placed a hand on his arm and eased him down.  "No, dude, stay down, you hit your head hard. Can you talk? Do you remember who I am?" Dave stripped his shirt over his head, creating a pillow for the boy's head, and sat beside him.  Panic roared like a dragon in his chest.

"Dave, I'm fine, just... woozy.  Did we do it? Is he dead?" Karkat's eyes were unfocused and searching.

"Yeah, he's dead, Karkat.  We're safe. I don't know that I'll ever be... like you... but at least we're safe."

Karkat laughed and reached for Dave, touching his face gently.  He smiled - he must have hit his head really hard - and tapped beside Dave's left eye.  "We match here." His hand slid down to Dave's bare chest and pressed against his pounding heart.  "We match here." He laced their fingers together. "We match here. You're already like me, Dave."  Tears dripped down Dave's face.

"I thought I lost you.  I thought I was never going to get to tell you that-"

"Yeah.  Yeah, me too."

Dave leaned down and kissed Karkat, holding him gently and crying tears of relief.  It was over. Despite it all, they had won. The evil was defeated, and now they had the rest of their lives to learn how to live again, and to move on from the mess that had been created in their wake.  Everything was going to be okay.

* * *

 

Dirk smiled up at Jake as he finished the story, tears finally dripping from his green eyes.  "It's a g-good story, Jake. Thank you." His eyes fluttered shut for just a moment too long, and Jake shook him gently to wake him.

"Damnit, Dirk, it's better when you hear it all the way from one shore to the next, now keep with me!  Rose will be back any moment, and we'll bust down these doors and maybe you'll lose the leg, but we'll get you a cure and at least you'll be alright!  Don't you dare give up on me, Dirk!" Dirk's head lolled, and he struggled to right it.

"Jake, Jake, fuck... fucking stop a-already, would you?  Rose isn't c-coming. She was due h-hours ago. It's... over, Jake.  I don't... want your platitudes wh-while I die, I want to kiss you." His eyes were surprisingly lucid, the clearest they had been since the fever had taken hold.  Jake let out a sob and pulled him close, their lips moving desperately, hungrily, painfully close and yet not enough. They kissed until Jake lost his air and then they relaxed, into a small exchange of breath.  Then nothing. Dirk's lips were still.

Jake wept.  He held Dirk's body to him and rocked, sobbing as his own mortality weighed on him like an anchor above a trench.  Down, down he went, until his mind cleared, at the bottom of all things. He checked the window. Darkness.

The moans below drowned out the sound as he loaded his guns - two bullets.  He drank the last of his canteen, happily satiated for the first time in weeks.  He didn't need it anymore. Dirk's body grew cold in his arms as he waited, holding him tight and memorizing the lines of his face, his wisps of blonde hair, the scar around his neck.  When Dirk began to stir, he didn't hesitate, and put him down with a sob. He vomited over the balcony.

The creatures below reacted violently to the gunshot, grappling at the ladder, but he didn't care.  He stared into the dark night, the smell of blood and decay suddenly too much to bear. That was alright - there was nothing to bear anymore.  He placed the gun to his head and pulled the trigger.

 

In the night, headlights breached the darkness.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings - suicide


End file.
